Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he fucked my hip out of place.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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