oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize