OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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