He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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