My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
