On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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