Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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