No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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