Sponge bath it is.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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