if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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