I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
