sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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