In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I DEMAND FORESKIN
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
