I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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