Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
