Life is so much better after having sex.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
