please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
tequila makes me forget i have legs
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Sorry my hands just texted you
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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