I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
