how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
