singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
