I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
