I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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