Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
