I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
