I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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