yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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