oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
