somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I could fuck to npr.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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