I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
