Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize