if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
