so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
