it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
