I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
