idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
