There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
never play flip cup with pint glasses
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
