Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
