don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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