I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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