I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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