she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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