I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
