Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
