McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
