so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
