He is like the real live version of the state fair..
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
His hands were made for my vagina.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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