Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
