I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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