i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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