Sponge bath it is.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
