Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I AM VODKA MAN
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
