the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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