buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize