its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Just cropdusted the office
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
