Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
