Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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