I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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