90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
