there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
