No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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