woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
