this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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